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Is Your Cougar Net Empty? How to Write a Winning Online Profile
One of the problems with trying to connect with people online is getting their attention. There is a lot of competition out there and the Cougars are picky. They know what they want, which also means they know what they don’t want. If older men are no longer inspiring, then don’t fall in their footsteps. Cougars are looking for fun, excitement and someone who reflects that in their profile will get responses.
When I read the profiles here and on other dating sites, I start to feel like I’m watching repeated scenes from the movie Ground Hog Day. you know…the one with Bill Murray where every morning when you wake up it’s just like the day before.
Every profile starts to look and sound the same. They all blur together. I’m studying. I click next. I’m studying. I click next. If there’s nothing in the first line that catches my eye, I click DELETE and go to the next one.
Did you read what I just said? IF THERE’S NOTHING IN THE FIRST LINE THAT CATCHES THE WOMAN’S ATTENTION, SHE WILL CLICK DELETE.
People are busy. We only have so much time to do so many things each day. If you’re not having any luck getting responses from your online profile, then get some helpful tips and give your profile a makeover. What do you have to lose; Oh yeah… another lonely Saturday night…
Here you go:
1) Read a bunch of profiles for men and women.
Notice which ones catch your attention and why. Make some notes. Take a close look at the front line. This is your “signature” line that tells people why they should bother reading the rest of your profile. When you read women’s profiles, you begin to understand what they are looking for and what language they speak.
2) Don’t put yourself down.
Don’t say “Well, it’s just me” or “Wow. I never know what to write about these things” or “Ask me if you want to know more.” It makes you look pious, lame, and like you have a lot of insecurity issues. It also makes you look like you don’t know who you are. If you don’t know who you are, why should anyone care? If you’re online, you’re already in a public space. So don’t hide who you are and then wait for someone to “recognize” how special you are by some magical telepathy and hit you up to learn more.
Instead, write something that plays to your personal strengths. “Daring young dude with a penchant for sweeping you off your feet and onto the dance floor, seeks fun loving, leading lady to star in a forever relationship.”
Get my drift? Shine! Shine! Get us excited! Give us the ‘wow’ factor!
3) Don’t make cliche statements.
Don’t start your profile with “I’m…” statements. “I’m beautiful, sexy, compassionate, honest, smart…” yes, yes… everyone says that. Have you ever read a profile that said, “I’m a lost, drug addict, unemployed bum who sleeps on my mother’s couch?”
Tell us something about yourself that makes you different from everyone else. “One of my passions is rescuing animals and this summer our team is hosting the Basset Hound Olympics to raise money for their veterinary care.” Gee, doesn’t that show someone how compassionate you are and how much you love doing charity work? Be specific. Actions speak louder than words.
Avoid “I like to work hard and play hard” or “I’m as comfortable in a dress as I am in jeans and a t-shirt.” How many times do you see these statements? “I like good food.” (Who doesn’t?) “I’m independent.” (And that means…?) and for God’s sake aren’t we all sick of “I like to take long walks on the beach” and that pesky term, “with that special someone.” (Excuse me while I think.)
4) Be assertive
To take a position. Form an opinion. This way you will appear defined as a person to someone and attract people who share your same views and interests. “My idea of a great first date is to microwave crayons in the shapes of famous historical figures and then discuss socialism over a nice glass of port” is more definitive than “I like to do silly things and discuss facts of the day”.
People like to meet people who know who they are. It shows that you have something to bring to the table and that you can hold up your end of the date or relationship.
5) Post a good, clear picture of yourself.
Smile. Don’t post a serious shot because you think it makes you look cool. Makes us wonder if you just got out of jail. Don’t wear sunglasses. Don’t try to look or act cool. Look friendly, happy, approachable and fun! Don’t flash gang or peace signs and don’t flip the bird. Leave your penis in your pants. We’ve seen them before and it’s not all this and a bag of chips.
Put lots of pictures, especially of you doing fun things that we might like to do with you. Don’t post a picture of you and your ex. Don’t put a photo with you and half of your exes cut out of the photo. Ladies, believe it or not, not all men like to see us with our dogs. *sigh* So include a picture of you and Bonster, but put in some other pictures too. If a guy doesn’t own pets or loves his 23 cats, he’ll probably pass on you and make you fido.
6) Your screen name says a lot about who you are and what you’re looking for.
If your name is “Young and Hung” or “Licking My Eyebrows”, we know you’re looking for booty calls and you’re not a serious candidate for anything beyond a one night stand and you’re probably expecting a ride and a pizza on the way up. We also know that you probably have a different girl every night, a few illnesses brewing, and an ax in the hall closet. DELETE.
7) Be honest and be honest about who you are and what you are looking for.
Be honest about your age, weight, height. Don’t post photos older than a year or with brown hair if you just dyed it tomato red. When people see your photo and arrange to meet you, they expect to meet the person they see in the picture. Anything else is misleading and disappointing. Don’t post a group photo. We can’t tell who you are and we don’t care to meet the team. We are interested in getting to know you.
Don’t say you’re looking for a long-term relationship if you’re really looking for friends with benefits. One reason I have so many options to choose from in profiles is so people can really connect with people who are looking for the same things. If you’re married, separated, separated and a little fragile and just want to test the waters, then say so. “I just got out of a long-term situation and I just want to meet new people for fun and conversation and see how it goes for a while before I start thinking about something serious again.” People appreciate honesty and transparency. It shows that you respect them and it also shows that you have a level of integrity about yourself.
8) Tell us who you are.
If you want to get someone’s attention, you need to put something on the hook before you cast your line. No fish on earth will bite a clean hook. Few people will respond to a profile that has nothing or very little. Why should they when the next one they click on has tons of information they can read and link to?
Talk about your hobbies and interests and convey your enthusiasm: “I like to skydive” is informative, but, “There’s nothing like naked skydiving to really get the adrenaline flowing. There’s just something so exciting about falling to the ground in 100 miles an hour while grandma watches me with her spiritually transcending telescope,” really gives us a clear picture of your passion for this.
9) Tell us what you do professionally.
Why is it important? Because it helps us visualize you at work doing what you do during the day and helps us connect with that image and you. It further defines who you are and helps us understand whether we want to connect with you. If you’re a butcher and the woman reading your profile is a PETA member and a staunch vegetarian, then why waste time emailing and chatting and then meeting if she knows deep down that this will never work?
You can say, “I’m a college student,” or you can say, “I’m in my third year of college studying marine biology. You haven’t seen anything in life until you’ve seen two starfish mate. It’s the most life-affirming thing on earth. When finish school, my goal is to own a catfish farm in a small town in the southern Delta and export catfish to Dubai.”
Wow. I’m so there…
10) Be open. Be friendly. Be approachable. Be entertaining.
Be someone someone else would like to get to know better. And express who you are through writing. Profiles are written. Not everyone is a good writer, but this is the medium in which you sell yourself. It is a visual medium. If you can’t write well, but can express yourself through speech, then upload a 60 second video of yourself, telling everyone who you are and what you’re looking for. Keep the video short. Renowned award-winning Canadian director Mack Sennett said you should never be silent for more than 90 seconds. The audience loses interest.
Be respectful. Think about what you write before you write it. “I like women with big ass”, is not at all flattering to any woman, even if she has a big ass. Don’t be rude. Slow is gross. Raw women squat.
A well thought out and prepared profile with good photos will get you noticed. If it’s obvious you haven’t put any time into your profile, then anyone who sees it will assume you’re just a gamer and not seriously looking to meet anyone, and they’ll click away. If you don’t take the time to fill out your profile, then why should anyone take the time to respond? No one wants to reply to a blank or a profile that says “I’ll tell you later”. That’s like saying “I have a secret and if I think you’re worthy enough I’ll share it with you.” (Skeleton again.) NEXT.
Write complete sentences. If your language skills are not that good, then ask someone to help you express yourself in writing. If you can’t communicate who you are and what you’re looking for, then you won’t be of interest to anyone.
You have to remember that there are millions of profiles on many dating sites. You are in competition with all the other profiles on the internet. You have to see yourself as a product and run an advertising campaign to get results. If you had to make a commercial for yourself and had to create a 60 second spot, what would you say? What would your main line be? You need an attention-grabbing beginning, a well-thought-out, informative and engaging middle, and a “short” at the end.
The goal is to get answers. When you receive replies, you can decide who you want to continue communicating with.
The bottom line is: If you’re NOT getting responses online, it’s because your profile sucks. Even a profile without a picture will get a response if it’s well written and makes someone want to know more. Your profile is your calling card. It’s your ad. It is the presentation of yourself to the online community. If he says nothing, offers nothing, then he will get nothing. And nothing is quite what you might expect.
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