How Long Should My 5 Week Old Sleep At Night The Sex Factor – Romance With Your Spouse After Children

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The Sex Factor – Romance With Your Spouse After Children

You know you’re a mom when you… promise your husband tonight is the night, but thankfully you sneak up to bed, relieved that he fell asleep on the couch.

Not to gossip or anything, but a recent visit from a friend of mine got us talking about sex after a baby. Slowly her sex drive returned as her hormones balanced out after the pregnancy. Her four-month-old is happily sleeping in her own room now, giving mum and dad their own privacy. Doing better than me, she enjoys the sex, but she said lightheartedly, “We did it last night, so I’ve been off for a few days.” We both laughed at the same time, kindred spirits in the fact that sex right now isn’t the most important thing on our list.

Like many of my posts, I got the idea for this week’s “You Know You’re a Mom When…” from my husband. Feeling rather witty and spot on with my comment, I half-laughingly repeated it while chuckling at my own personal accuracy. There was a kind of dead silence in the room. “It’s not that funny,” he replied, neither impressed nor amused by my remark. “Come on” I replied, once again validating what I know so many women can relate to and find laughable. He was neither convinced nor interested, and just gave me that look as he walked away.

In their own humorous and cliché-inducing way, men have been whining about post-marital sex since the dawn of time. However, it made me think less about my own indifference to it and more about his need and desire as a man and a sexual creature. Most people know and agree that men need sex as a normal part of their coding and makeup. A woman’s personal feelings and opinions often override men’s need and allow them to forget or overcome this so-called necessity in their daily lives (I’m in that group).

So, juggling all the things we’re doing, not feeling fulfilled, and really needing/craving/wanting sleep, how do we create that spark of interest to rekindle the fires?

In my research for ways to improve sex with your husband, I came across eHow.com. They suggest things like talking about your fantasies to get pumped up, being spontaneous and having sex somewhere dangerous, or maybe creating a home video or photo album just for his eyes. Great ideas, but who has time for that? (I’m clicking away from this site because it’s obviously written by someone without kids). To their credit though, they suggested, 1) Talk about it! Yes, with him or her, not with your friends, not with anyone else. It is absolutely amazing how many lovers simply do not communicate openly and honestly with each other about what is pleasurable in sex.

Expert Michael Webb, author of 500 Love Tips, offers 10 Ways to Rekindle the Magic in Your Relationship:

1. SEND THEM A UNIQUE GIFT

2. BE KIDS AGAIN

3. HAVE FUN WITH WATER

4. MASSAGE WITH A TWIST

5. BRING BACK CHILDHOOD MEMORIES

6. LOOK AT THE CLOUDS

7. WALK ON THE BEACH

8. HAVE A PICNIC ON A HOT SUMMER NIGHT

9. SHOW YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR YOUR PARTNER

10. INCREASE YOUR ROMANCE

I’m not sure if he even has kids (who’s watching them while I’m looking at the clouds?), but at least he’s getting close and his suggestions are spot on.

Then I found this site, http://CharmYourWife.Com. Robert Steele writes, if men want more sex with their wives, they need to start educating themselves on the dos and don’ts of a woman’s emotional state. “When your woman has a comfortable sense of well-being, knows that you truly love her for who she is, and that out of all the billions of women in the world, you only want her, then you’ll probably have as much sex as you can. grip”! He also goes on to say, “To be romantic with your woman is to make her feel special – like she’s the most special woman in the world to you. he is still “chasing” her to win her heart.”

My favorite quote from him is “when a husband knows how to please his wife emotionally and make her romantic, she will naturally want to please him. That’s how women are wired.”

I found it interesting that even though I know my husband requires sex and we can do “things” to improve it, creating a mental and emotional connection is really the key to that locked door. It also made me realize that I have the power to make that connection myself. When my husband comes home and I immediately tell him how my son put a dent in the wall, the property taxes came in, and I didn’t get to dye my hair, all he wants to do is withdraw and fall apart. So it’s up to me to have lighter conversations and less complaining. More about what was good on the day, what worked and the events that made me happy and brought joy to the children. He would then want to return the gesture, feeling open to listen and free to share in return. All the things I really want and the beginning of creating the closeness we both ultimately desire.

I’ll get back to you on how well it works. In the meantime, you might want to send this post to your husbands and see if any of the suggestions interest him.

I’m standing on my soapbox,

JB

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