I Hate It When Thing I Discover New Gets Old The Challenges of Being a Stepfather

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The Challenges of Being a Stepfather

So much has been written about stepparenting, but you will find very few resources that can guide you on how to be a good stepparent. Maybe it’s because most men aren’t directly involved in raising children, but becoming a stepfather can be one of the hardest parts of later marriages.

But life can be enjoyable being a stepparent if everyone in the relationship remains realistic about their expectations of each other. First, some children may view the stepfather as a threat or competition – mom’s attention will have to be divided between her new husband and the children, when it used to be just the children after the father left. Perhaps, the children will consider you as the reason why mom replaced dad, so you should move slowly and carefully. Don’t push yourself into your stepchild’s life – give them plenty of time to get used to you being around. Let them discover nice things about you instead of presenting them with your credentials.

Many stepparents make the mistake of imposing authority on children too early, and children hate it! Let their mother handle the issues early on, but be alert for opportunities to step in and allow them to build some trust in you. This can happen through casual conversations where you can let them open up and share their feelings with you.

Focus as much as possible on the marriage and not on the stepchildren. What will make children like and love you faster is seeing you take very good care of their mother. Take their mother out to do the things she likes to do; occasionally invite the children to join. A relaxing event dedicated to fun and enjoyment for all is always a very good ground to develop your relationship with your stepchildren.

Be fair to everyone, and that includes your children, if you have them from a previous marriage. The biggest dilemma of fathers and stepfathers is having children and stepchildren who compare themselves to each other. Of course you will always have that strongest bond with your biological children, so you will have to put in the extra effort to do justice.

Being a stepparent is always challenging, but with the right actions and emotions, it can be an enjoyable experience for you and your stepchildren. Just be aware of the realities and limitations, as well as the new opportunities to create great relationships with the children who have truly become yours.

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