Is It Better To Stay In Old Jerusalem Or New Divorce Recovery Mindset: The Case of the Kidnapped Son

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Divorce Recovery Mindset: The Case of the Kidnapped Son

Kidnapped by Earl: A real-life test of choosing to be righteous or happy

After several years of marriage, a close friend of mine, I’ll call him Earl, divorced Sheryl. They had joint custody of their 8-year-old son. Sheryl asked Earl if she could take their son on a 7-day, church-sponsored tour of Israel. The Earl gave his permission.

The kidnapping. When the tour group returned home again, Sheryl and their son were not with them. Sheryl had fled with their son with no intention of returning to the US. Earl contacted the State Department. They couldn’t help as Sheryl was the mother. Earl contacted INTERPOL. They were no help. Earl then hired a local private investigator in Jerusalem, the last place the tour group had seen. He could not find them.

Meanwhile, Earl had planned to remarry a week after his son and Sheryl were supposed to return. His son would be the ring bearer at the wedding ceremony. On the day of the wedding, Sheryl and his son had not yet returned.

They proceeded with the marriage ceremony without his son present. Earl and his new bride canceled their honeymoon and booked their plane ticket to Israel.

The search. After a week of fruitless searches all over Jerusalem with the private investigator, Earl had given up. Their return flight was on Sunday evening. Then, on Sunday morning, the day they were to return to the US, they tried one last time to “split” one of the few English-speaking churches in Jerusalem, thinking that this would be a natural place for the woman to go. his.

Sure enough, right there in front of them, they saw Sheryl and his son walking into the church. Sheryl went to the main sanctuary and their son went to a Sunday school class.

Earl walked into the Sunday school room, took his son by the hand, hailed a taxi to the airport and returned home with him.

A few days later, Sheryl also returned to the US.

The decision. Now Earl had a choice to make. Should he arrest Sheryl for kidnapping, or at least for violating the terms of their divorce? Should he tell his son the truth that his mother had tried to stop him from seeing his father again? Should he stand up in the court of public opinion and make an accurate account of what Sheryl did and punish her in front of her friends and relatives?

Or, should he do nothing to punish his ex for her disgusting behavior?

Eric was under a lot of pressure from his friends to lock Sheryl up and throw away the key. He chose not to.

All he did was amend the custody agreement so that he had full custody and requested that all of his son’s visits with his mother be supervised by a court-appointed social worker. Basically, he gave his ex a license to kidnap his son and try to cut him off from his father forever.

Reason. The Earl felt that his and his new wife’s happiness would be severely hampered by a long and drawn-out court case, and his son would suffer by seeing his mother arrested and ultimately imprisoned. His son would benefit from having a relationship with his mother, flawed as she was, and his son’s safety would be protected by supervised visitation.

Earl suffered from the knowledge of his friends who thought he let Sheryl off lightly and their trust he looked weak by doing so. Many felt that Sheryl should be severely punished for what she did.

Earl’s conclusion was “What would be best for him, his new wife and his son? What would bring my family the greatest happiness in the future?” He was not concerned about what would be the most appropriate treatment for Sheryl.

So what’s the point?

Honoring his desire to bring as much happiness as possible to his home with his son and new wife, Earl embodies the courage it takes to truly live the philosophy that being happy is more rewarding than being right. .

Earl’s story stands as a beacon for any divorced person who dares to ask the question, “Am I strong enough to let being happy be enough?”

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