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The Three C’s of Stress Hardiness

We all know people who thrive under stressful conditions, in fact, they seem to thrive on it. These are “stress-resistant” people, and here are three clues on how to do it. They form the basis of what is called Transformative Coping.

Essentially, stress-resilient people place potentially stressful events in a new frame of reference. They have learned how to transform a stressful situation into an opportunity to be creative, or to enhance growth, or perhaps even be inspirational or humorous. Instead of struggling with an unpleasant or unpleasant event, or taking it personally, they allow the situation to challenge them to learn and grow.

Here are the 3 Cs of transformative coping that stress-resilient people thrive on:

Challenges. If we define stress as a reaction to a comment or a situation as threatening, people with stress feel that a difficult person or situation is a challenge they can face. Instead of feeling threatened, they reframe the event as an opportunity to be creative. How do they do this? A simple secret is that they become curious. Instead of getting defensive or reverting to old scripts, they take a moment to stop and wonder what would lead a person to make such an ‘outlandish’ claim. They wonder what they might be missing and are interested in finding other ways to approach situations that stretch them, and perhaps even shape events to their advantage.

Engagement. Stressed people find meaning in their work. They feel that their work is connected to a higher purpose and that their role contributes to a greater purpose. Here are three possible answers a bricklayer gives to the question: What are you doing? “I’m laying bricks”, is a cynical answer. “I’m earning a living”, is a joyless answer. “I’m building a cathedral,” reveals a person connected to a greater purpose. Connecting to something bigger allows people with stress to dismiss things as minor annoyances that might stop another person dead in his or her tracks.

Control. Stressed people know when to hold on and when to fold. They know when they can control events and when they can’t. They know how to let go and flow with events until they find an opening when they can assert themselves again. While they may give up, they don’t. They change their strategy, including perhaps changing their goal, going deeper into their goal. They are related to their purpose, their expression and their goals, but not necessarily the form these take.

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