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Why it Sucks to Be a Nice Guy
Have you ever heard of the term “nice guys finish last?”
I know I know. . . I think I have an idea what’s going through your mind right now, you’re probably thinking “No, that’s not entirely true, I don’t agree with that. Women LOVE good guys. Women love men who open up to them doors to them. , goes down to seats for them and treats them like a queen. The tharks may win their heart at first but then the good guys always get the girl in the end.
Well for the record. . . YOU ARE WRONG.
I don’t know what rock you’ve been living under for the past five years, but this is the 21st century my friend! I agree with you on one point though, women love nice guys. They love them as friends, or as best friends, or as big brothers, or as cousins, etc. But unfortunately, women RARELY want a nice guy to be their boyfriend.
Now before I get any violent reactions, let’s talk about the term “NICE”. What would qualify as a nice guy?
Here are some examples:
1 A good guy is a guy who seems to be so skinny that even Hanna Montana could beat him up.
2. A good guy is a guy who is needy, clingy and extremely insecure. He is so concerned with getting a woman’s attention that he will do ABSOLUTELY anything for her.
3. A good guy is a guy who is very available all the time.
4. A good guy is a guy who apologizes all the time even though he hasn’t done anything wrong.
5. A nice guy is a guy who stands behind every word you say and then agrees with every point you make.
6. A good guy is a guy who is just AWESOME. He’s the type of guy who would bring flowers, chocolates and a big teddy bear to a lunch date.
Now you know how women react to nice guys who are just too much? Here’s what their friends are saying about them:
“He’s very nice… but… I’m bored.”
“He’s very nice… but… I don’t think I deserve it.”
“He’s very nice… but… there’s just no spark between us.”
Hard to accept, isn’t it? I know, I know it hurts. . . why don’t you come here and cry on my shoulder sweet pea . . .
I’m assuming you probably got your “super nice guys get the girl in the end” mentality from your Vietnam war veteran father and grandfather. I hate to burst your bubble here, unfortunately that’s not how it works these days.
Let’s take a look at four of the most significant notions to keep in mind when it comes to attracting women:
1. The heart is IRRATIONAL.
We can’t CHOOSE who we fall for. I know it’s bad, but that’s the way life works, so you just have to deal with it. Attraction can happen in an instant without warning, you can’t really direct your heart in which direction to go and you can’t convince her heart to choose you, so don’t even bother.
2. Beautiful women have many options.
Beautiful women have hundreds of options, that’s common sense right? It is hit in clubs, libraries, shopping centers, etc. She also has a number of close friends who are just “pretending” to be close friends, but in reality, she can’t wait to “make out” with her. . They pretend to be a BEST FRIEND, but what they really want is to be a BODY FRIEND. Therefore, for every beautiful woman, every look, every good deed, every sweet word in one way or another is considered INTEREST. Maybe not all the time, but most of the time it plays on her mind, because almost every guy she’s been in contact with has shown interest at some stage.
3. The heart is ILLOGICAL. It doesn’t follow any rules.
When you think about the concept of attraction, it makes absolute sense that women should be attracted to nice, polite, well-educated gentlemen, right? But then why do so many women fall in love with bad boys? Where is the logic in this??
There is no LOGICAL period.
4. Women want SECURITY and STATUS.
I know this may seem unfair, unfortunately women are almost NEVER attracted to men of “lower status” than them or who they feel cannot provide any security. This is why certain stereotypes exist, such as women not liking men without jobs and no future, and women not liking men who look and sound like Steve Urkell. They want a man and not a boy.
Now, if I had to describe one massive mistake that men make with women, the one that causes the most pain, then I would have to say that it would be. . .
BEING A NICE GUY AND EXPECTING her to fall for your “goodness”.
Have you ever chased a woman with flowers, chocolates and expensive gifts only to have her say “she doesn’t know what she wants right now” and needs “time to think”. . . which eventually led her to see you as “just a friend”?
Have you ever met a woman and paid her a nice compliment, only to have her look away and show signs of boredom?
That’s what happens when you’re really good. The end? Nice guys don’t promote attraction.
A very nice guy is BLAND. They are very needy and clingy to the point of nausea.
Now, the first reaction most guys usually have when they hear this is shock and awe, because being nice is what their mothers taught them when they were kids. So when they hear this upsetting news, they say things like “But I don’t want to be a boy” or “I like being a GOOD boy” or “I’m just trying to be myself, that’s all… “.
Don’t worry, I feel you Dawg.
Well, here’s the thing, you don’t need to be “rude” or “mean” to women, you just need to learn how the concept of attraction works and STOP being too nice.
Do you know what really attracts women?
GOD with a hint of BAD BOY swearing.
That’s right, you heard me, if there’s one thing that makes the difference in an attractive woman’s attraction, it’s a guy’s ability to be a gentleman, but still retain a hint of cockiness and arrogance. Someone who isn’t really erect himself, but instead, knows how to tease his way into a woman’s heart.
I still strongly advise opening doors, borrowing a jacket when the woman feels cold, walking on the outside of the curb, and pulling out the chairs. You know, the usual knight in armored armor. Men don’t do that anymore these days, so it will make you stand out. Being a gentleman is a great quality to truly possess, however, you need to let them know that you can sometimes be a “BAD GUY” too. For example:
You can pull up a chair for him and then say something like “This whole thing sir is a very rare occasion, okay? So you better make the most of it while I’m still in a zone “good boy”.
Or you could also pretend to dust her seat before she sits in it and then say something like “here you go, your majesty” and then flash a teasing smile afterwards.
Or you can even spit out backhanded compliments like “now don’t be so strong and powerful with me just because you’re cute okay?”
Most men don’t understand how a woman’s mind works, which is why they are shocked to the core whenever jerks steal their women under their noses all the time.
Let me share with you some basic facts about men and women:
Most women naturally play the “coy” angle. They play hard to get and want men to follow them. Men on the other hand are strong, dominant and aggressive by nature. Most men are generally considered rough and tough, they are supposed to be Soldiers by nature.
But here’s the point:
Most men do not act like men when they are in the company of a woman they are interested in.
It is not “hot”, it is not lovable and it is not desirable at all. She actually FRUSTRATES women!
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