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Urination – A Dog’s Contribution For Turning An Issue Into A Profitable Business
I know dogs
“Dogs do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it.” As far as people go, even sophisticated millionaires do it… but they won’t talk about it because it’s not dinner talk. Even Broadway musicals do it. Urinetown, he did and had fun and created snickers worldwide.
When the dogs do it, it’s open for all to see. Some squat, some put their feet up, and some try to cover the spot with some dirt. People are different and retreat to a toilet or enclosure and flush as quietly as possible, wash their hands and come out smiling.
In Embarrass, MN. my country, no one is ashamed. In fact, they proudly face this natural phenomenon and celebrate with a regional competition and recognition. Men are highly encouraged to enter the annual peeing contest and the winner receives a $2500.00 gift certificate to the Mall of America in the Twin Cities.
Peabody’s Bar and Grill, just outside of town, sponsors this event with 14 beer companies, 6 coffee companies and a waiting list of 24 soft drink companies. Sponsorship funds are large and Peabody makes a fortune.
The contest is to see who can write their names in the snow the best, if you know what I mean. Embarrass has snow 5 months of the year so competitors can practice wherever and whenever they want, along with a high level of hydration. The only downside to practicing outside is the temperature…below 50 degrees.
In case of frostbite, paramedics are on hand. Occasionally, too much alcohol clouds a determined competitor’s judgment and he is forced to retire in pain. Another effect of sub-zero weather is that “pee sickles” often form and writing is temporarily suspended.
“I Still Write Your Name In The Snow” is the title track. Bar owners in warmer climates don’t realize how profitable this can be and argue that they don’t have the natural resources to work with. Wrong. With an ice machine from the bar and restaurant, you could make a fortune.
With the proceeds from the sponsors, a downtown parade with 3 floats is planned to celebrate the winner along with Miss Embarrass’ Snow Queen and a band from the Fire Department. The floats are pulled by a team of sled dogs, whomever I could sniff. The Snow Queen is a waitress who is chosen by the amount of beer she has served.
Shame on you, MN. He used to have ice fishing contests, but gave them up when Leroy Peabody thought, after seeing dogs peeing, to write your name in the snow for prizes. It also sells T-shirts and coffee mugs with phrases like “Don’t eat the yellow snow,” “Send a message to the snow,” and “Man nibbling on the wind, shaking at himself.” ‘
Judges view photos of the entries and select a winner based on the number of dotted i’s and crossed t’s.
The point here is that dogs were the first to start this profitable trend in Embarrass, Mn, where all the ladies are gorgeous, all the guys are nice, and all the dogs are above average. With more creative men like Leroy Peabody, this trend could become worldwide thanks to dogs.
Adopt a dog and get creative.
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