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How to Understand Body Language
People pick up on what we really think, whether we know it or not. One of the ways we express our thoughts is through body language. The body cannot lie. Lie detector tests are based on this fact. Although we can and often do lie with our conscious mind, our body always registers the fact that we are lying.
The secret of body language means that we can try to put on a fake face to hide our true feelings, but our body is incapable of lying. Behavioral specialists report that only 7% of communication is the words we speak. The rest is 38% tonality and 55% body language. When our words are out of sync with our thoughts, it shows in our tone and body language.
Sometimes people who lie do not meet our gaze, often children do, but sometimes good liars deliberately hold the gaze of the person they are talking to to cover up the fact that they are not being truthful.
A body language expert will notice other things, such as increased blink rate or nervous mannerisms. I just feel that the person is not congruent, that something is wrong. It’s just a general feeling, but I believe it.
It is a scientific fact that people’s gestures reveal their true intentions. Yet most of us can’t read body language and don’t realize how our own physical movements speak to others.
However, while we may not be able to consciously interpret the intentions of others, we unconsciously pick up on everything. This often leads us to feel uncomfortable with certain people.
Thoughts are even transferred into letters, emails and texts. Whatever you write above will depend on the person receiving the message.
Ideas are conveyed through any medium and a good way to get your message across is to first think about what outcome you would like from a letter, text or email. Whatever you feel will come out no matter what. Think about it first, then the right words will come to you.
I was talking to a fellow therapist one day and she told me that she had sent an email to a colleague that she was unhappy with. Her predominant thought when writing the email was, “I don’t want to offend her.”
Guess what? The person who received the email was offended and said so in their reply. My friend didn’t understand why this happened, but when I told her how her mind worked and pointed out her predominant thoughts when she wrote it, she realized what she had done.
I suggested that the next time he had to write an email of this kind or any other, he would first write down what he wanted to accomplish with the email. I asked her what she would like to see happen.
She told me that she wanted to let the other person know that she wasn’t happy with what happened, but she also wanted to do it in a way that calmed the troubled waters.
I suggested that she write down, “I want to build a relationship with this person and express my respect for their perspective. win, win situation. As a result of this email, I want to remain firm friends and gain a greater understanding.” He now uses this method with great success.
Once you understand the secrets of body language, you can use it to get the results you want by being congruent and speaking only about what you want to achieve. Making positive changes can help you make changes that will make the rest of your life the best of your life.
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