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Who’s Your Valentine?

As February 14 approaches, it’s time to think about relationships and their meaning.

Consider the following:

1. Most people spend more time buying a new vehicle than looking for a partner. Before committing, slow down and consider what you need and have to offer.

2. Dating is a way to see if you’re compatible, but it doesn’t guarantee long-term happiness, especially if you’re not honest with yourself about what you need.

3. Going from dating to common law in a short period of time is risky. Decide to go without living together for a year to see how the other handles holidays, seasons, and issues.

4. The “honeymoon” phase doesn’t last long. What used to be “cute” can become “annoying,” especially when bills come in, careers are stressful, and illness strikes.

5. Maturity and good mental health practices offer more stability to a partnership than physical attraction. Good trumps look good!

6. People don’t divorce because of conflict. They divorce because they don’t know how to resolve the conflict. Learn to solve problems in a healthy way.

7. Over fifty percent of married couples divorce. (Statistics do not include those couples who are separated). Be grateful if you are happy and look forward to spending time with your partner.

8. Some couples are unhappy but stay together for various reasons (kids, finances, religion, shame). If you are both willing to seek professional help, learn some new skills, and forgive, you can improve your situation.

9. Statistics for second marriages that end are higher than for first marriages. You can’t just blame everything on your first husband! Work on your weaknesses or you’ll get married and be a bad person the second time around.

10. Better to be 80% happy with yourself than 100% miserable with your partner.

This Valentine’s Day, instead of focusing solely on romance, try to think about and show love to those around you. Paper heart for a child. Cookies to disable. A smile for strangers. Extra help for a co-worker. Donations to charity. Encouragement for a neighbor.

And if you’re committed to someone, try using honest and well-thought-out words to express how grateful you are to have him/her in your life! Because they are more powerful and last longer than cut flowers, they will be treasured for many years.

I love you on Valentine’s Day!

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