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Weight Losing Tips I Can’t Endorse
This news item is quoted from stuff.com/nz:
“The 26-year-old from Auckland was among nine thrill-seekers who were injured, three of them by goring, in the dangerous final running of the bulls at Spain’s San Fermin festival.
In the bloodiest run of this year’s festival, bulls tossed people around on the slippery cobbled streets of Pamplona, where a red bull at the tail of the pack fell and separated from the rest, leaving it disoriented and irritated by the large crowds. panic among the runners.”
I was about to write another article on weight loss tips when it suddenly occurred to me that if you collected all the weight loss tips and lined them up end to end, they would make it all the way to my local health club and back. . The really meaningful ones I would probably fit on a 3X5 file cabinet, leaving room for a weekend grocery list.
Then I thought about some really bad weight loss tips I’ve heard and since I haven’t seen a compilation like this in the last day or two I thought I’d give it a shot. So with that in mind, here it is – Weight Loss Tips I Can’t Endorse:
Weight loss tip #1
Follow my thoughts here.
Statement 1: If running is a good way to lose weight, then running fast must be even better. Proposition 2: Misinformed people risk their health every day by subscribing to dangerous fad diets. Proposition 3: Every year, thousands of thrill seekers risk running with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain.
Conclusion: Since fad dieters are putting their health at risk anyway, and since running is said to be an excellent way to lose weight, then the ultimate weight loss program would have to be the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain. It combines health risk with exercise and, like some diet programs, even has the potential side effect of death. Just ask ephedra users.
Weight loss tip #2
According to MSN Money.com, Jenny Craig now charges $359 to lose 30 pounds, including food. Nutrisystem’s modest cost for the same 30 pounds: $1199.80, but that includes food. With these numbers in mind, and the fact that money is apparently no object for many people, I have come up with a reliable weight loss/getrichquick plan, a plan that I would call the “Diet Wave of the Future” weight loss program.
It works like this:
My weight is right around 200 pounds, conservatively, at least here on earth. However, if I traveled to the moon, I would weigh only 33.2 pounds, thanks to the lower gravity, an instant loss of 166.8 pounds! Think of the benefits. No dodgy diet pills, no boring Weight Watcher appointments, no gut crunches at the local health club, no eating that expensive Jenny Craig food.
Of course there would be a price for that. Traveling to the moon as in 1969 and converting to today’s dollars would mean $100 million. Just getting there. If I want to land and stay a while and enjoy the new me, then add another hundred million.
The good news is that my “Diet Wave of the Future” weight loss program would only need one member and I could retire. Email me if you are interested.
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