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7 Reasons NOT to Move to Denver, Colorado

That is right! In case you don’t read or watch the news, Colorado was officially one of the most popular cities in America last year. More than 100,000 people have moved to Colorado, making us the #2 state in the nation for inbound migration. (Hey, what was number one?)

Denver benefited (or suffered, depending on your point of view) better than anyone else in the 24-36 category. More young people are moving to Denver than any other city in the United States. We ask why?

Reason #1 Marijuana tourists.

The only thing worse than tourists is a TALL tourist. Now they walk aimlessly looking for something sweet to eat and something cold to drink. And you thought microbreweries were popular? Check out South Broadway anytime.

Reason #2 Exercise.

Denver is consistently ranked as one of the “healthiest” cities in the country. If you move here, you’ll have to work out AND do yoga at Red Rocks on Sundays. No kidding.

Reason #3 It’s not gold anymore.

All the gold has been spent! That’s right, all Weather Channel Prospecting reality TV shows are fake. Nobody discovers half a million pockets anything but empty. I mean, come on, what were you really thinking.

Reason #4 Baking fails.

The high altitude makes it impossible to bake grandma’s apple pie. After many failed attempts, most bakers give up.

Reason #5 Rocky Mountain Oysters.

Few places are as synonymous with testicle eating as Denver. Fried veal balls are served at many local restaurants and even at Coors Field.

Do you want to do something? Simply pick up the Denver Post, Westword Magazine, 5280 Magazine or any other media source and you will literally find dozens of things to see and do on any given day. Don’t believe us? Subscribe to your snail mail magazine and find out.

Reason #6 You will need to buy a bike.

Denver has more than 850 miles of paved and off-road trails for you to bike. This means you can travel really far from your house before your calves give out and you have to call someone for a ride.

Beautiful views – From a city park to the Front Range of Colorado. Do you want to live here?

Reason #7 Denver’s 300 days of sunshine is a lie.

Denver has clear skies for the most part, and much more so than other modern cities like New York, Seattle, and San Francisco. However, it does not have the 300 days of sunshine that most people boast about. According to Denver Westword, the city actually has around 115 clear days, 130 partly cloudy days, and 120 overcast days. That’s still a lot of vitamin D to have, but it makes you wonder, what else is Denver lying about?

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