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Step-Parenting – 7 Tips To Help You Develop A Positive Relationship With Your Step Children

I am a step parent and have been for almost 24 years. When I married my husband, he was the custodial parent of his twin sons, who were 5 years old at the time. I had no children of my own. Our first child was born when the boys were 8. I quickly learned that being a step parent is different than being a biological parent. If I had to summarize what I know to be important factors in establishing a positive relationship with your stepchildren, I would say:

1. Allow your partner ample opportunities to spend time alone with your children. Foster a relationship that was established long before you arrived.

2. Be sensitive to what your children are going through and don’t take things personally. Read books on how to be a successful stepparent.

3. Realize that each age adjusts to a stepparent differently. Teenagers will take much longer to accept you than very young children.

4. Show respect to the other parent. If your partner is beating his ex-spouse, you don’t have to get involved. It won’t improve your relationship with your stepchildren.

5. Parenting someone else’s children can be very stressful. Make sure you take time for yourself and do things that make you feel good.

6. Keep in mind that they are not your children and discipline and rule setting is primarily up to the biological parents. You may not agree with their parenting style, but it’s not up to you to try to change things.

7. Attend a support group for blended families or step parenting. You’ll appreciate the support and you’ll soon find that the problems you’re dealing with are similar to what others are going through. You will also get useful tips.

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