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How to Make Someone Love You Forever in 30 Minutes Or Less
Yeah, right! If you clicked on this article hoping to find magic words to make someone fall in love with you instantly or some love spell to cast on that boy/man/man or girl/woman who isn’t that interested, I sorry to disappoint you.
I’m old school on this one. You can’t rush love. No, you just have to wait. Love doesn’t come easily. It’s a game of give and take. You have to believe, give it time.
But how long does it take for someone to fall in love? And at what point do you say, “OMG! I can’t believe this is happening to me!”
I personally don’t believe that any “love expert” can tell you with 100% certainty how long it will take for someone to fall in love. If someone tells you they know exactly how to make someone love you forever in 30 or even 90 minutes, get a clue. It’s Kool-Aid!
There is no magic number of minutes, weeks, months or years when people fall in love. If we talk about attraction based on sexual chemistry, then scientists say that it takes a man only 8.2 seconds to “fall head over heels”; and a woman 15 seconds to decide if she wants to fall in love or not.
Explains why I fell in love twice today — in the supermarket! One of the men proposed to me after only 60 seconds of meeting me. [O! Please. Don’t get any ideas, I am kidding. This woman is taken!]
The point I’m trying to make here is that we fall in love with someone we’ve known for a while. The process of “falling in love” happens in stages for most of us (except for the emotionally immature or unhealthy, who fall in love with almost anyone – and too quickly).
The first stage of falling in love is the one I just talked about above; one based on sexual chemistry. Keep in mind that “sexual” is not necessarily about “sex,” but rather about the energy that drives sexual attraction. The second stage is when we realize how unique and special that person is; and the third is when we have convinced ourselves that we are happier and more fulfilled with this person in our lives.
Most men stay too long (and some even get stuck) in the first stage of falling in love, while women tend to combine stages two and three into one, so it seems that women only fall in love in two stages. I guess the biological clock has something to do with it.
But while no one can say with 100% certainty how long it will take someone to fall in love, there are words and other signals that tell you that a man or woman is falling for you.
Most people think that when the person says those three magic words “I love you” then you know for sure that they are in love. I wrote an article called “I love you – How soon is too soon?” and what I said in short is that every man or woman has their own different time table for saying “I love you”. Some people say it right away with a new person, while others prefer to wait a while to be 150% sure that they really love the person they are saying these words to. And for some people, saying “I love you” is like saying “thank you” or “goodbye.” In other words, saying “I love you” doesn’t always mean that someone is falling in love or has a crush on you.
I asked some of my clients to tell me when they “knew it for sure” and here are some of their answers.
1. I knew when we started calling each other daily. But more than that, I could hear in her voice that I was the one she wanted to share all her news with first.
2. We talked about some areas where we felt wonderfully separate. He looked at me and said, “I’m so scared that our relationship might not work or go forward. I don’t want to lose you!”
3. I had an “a-ha” moment when D left some toiletries with me. At a time when I didn’t know where we were, it was a simple signal to me that things were getting a little more serious.
4. I really loved her but she didn’t give me time. I felt he was out of my league. Four years later, we were hanging out with friends we’ve both known since second year. They started teasing us, saying we always looked like a couple. She leaned in and kissed me on the lips. It was very passionate. I knew it there and then. She is a naturally shy person, she would never do this if she didn’t love me.
5. I honestly don’t know when I knew for sure. M. knew I had a past before we met. Every man who has ever loved me, including my father, has abused and abandoned me. M. tries his best to assure me that he will never leave me. And I believe him with all my heart.
6. We didn’t have big plans and neither of us was in a rush to get our relationship going anywhere. We focused a lot on getting to know each other, spending time together and talking. One day we both looked at each other and knew it. It’s like opening the door and knowing you’re home.
7. It was when he told me that he had set aside a space in the closet for my things. That told me he was comfortable sharing his space with me.
8. Valentine’s Day. I asked her if there was anything she wanted to say or want to hear that hadn’t been said. She said “I love you”. I said “I love you more”. Neither of us told the other and we were together for over two years.
Bottom line, there is no universal length of time for someone to fall in love. Some people “know” that person is the one for them as soon as they see them (love at first sight). Some of these men and women who have “fallen in love at first sight” report having an inexplicable feeling that they have known the person before (soulmates). This knowledge of thinking/feeling is then confirmed by additional information gathered after you have known the person for some time.
It would be really nice if we were all lucky enough to have someone fall in love with us at first sight, but that doesn’t happen to the vast majority of people in this world. For the rest of us, you can’t rush love. Love takes time. How long? No one can say for sure. All you can do is nurture the feeling of attraction and help the other person go through the stages of falling in love. How soon they can do this depends on the individual – and their problems!
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