What Do 5 Year Old Girls Like To Play With Divorce Drama – Rewriting Your Divorce Story

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Divorce Drama – Rewriting Your Divorce Story

To turn divorce pain into life wisdom, we need to understand our divorce drama. One excellent resource that I highly recommend on this topic is Debbie Ford’s powerful book, Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life. The process is simple, unconscious and very powerful. Things happen in our lives and we attach meaning to these events in order to understand them. So we start writing scripts, or our relationship “story” is born.

We often start our scripts when we are very young children. For example, a young girl whose father is constantly traveling and breaks his promise to be at her ballet recital. The script and plot of “Men don’t show themselves to me” are being rewritten. This happens on a subconscious level. So the casting challenge of a lifetime is set out to find men to play the role over and over again. The story takes place with new characters or the same old characters in new ways, with you in the main role. The whole time, a 6-year-old girl in a tutu and ballet slippers sits in the director’s chair.

On one level, our stories provide security and identity. Yet they become a limitation, keeping us confined to a narrow circle of what is possible in our lives. Some people are so attached and identified with their stories that they are reluctant to let them go. When we become aware of our divorce drama, we can start writing new stories. Instead of making our film a melodrama, we can make it an adventure thriller, a heartfelt comedy or a love story. Here are some ways to get rid of divorce drama.

1. Read the script

Stop and identify your relationship story. Who did you cast as the villain and the victim? What have you determined to be the motivations of the main characters? Journal a plot summary so you can clearly differentiate your story. Knowing your story will help ensure that it doesn’t remain your default operating mode. Spiritual Divorce has some excellent exercises to help you with this.

2. Make an appointment

Take a big step back from the drama of your divorce. Realize that we are all co-creators of our reality. On a certain spiritual level, we signed up for this project. It’s a co-production between us and our ex-husbands.

To harvest the wisdom of life’s dramas, my mentor Barbara De Angelis recommends asking, “If I ordered this experience, what was I thinking?” Ask your higher self, what lesson do you want to learn from this situation? Take the time to ask and the still small voice of your own inner wisdom will begin to answer.

3. Reconsider your principal

Who is currently directing your film? Is it a scared little 8-year-old boy or an angry 5-year-old girl who didn’t pass? If so, it’s time to take them off the director’s chair and give them a bit of a part instead. To get rid of the divorce drama, your director needs to be an adult who is ready and willing to create the life you deserve.

4. Review your movie

You can use the divorce drama either as an excuse or as inspiration. The next step is to check the film. Would you give it two thumbs up? Is it something you’d like to see over and over again? People who stay in their stories so often use it as an excuse to blame others, to remain a victim, or to play small.

Does your story make you angry? Great! Use it to tap into your passion and take action to break a limiting pattern or release a situation that doesn’t support you? The bottom line is that we write a new script every day. It can bog us down in the past or motivate us to a new future. The choice is yours.

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