What Size Bike Is Good For A 5 Year Old Mommy Humor – Funny Short Story – Lying

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Mommy Humor – Funny Short Story – Lying

This is a funny short story about lying. Lying is a learned skill. Some people are good at it, and some are not. Poker players cannot win without being great at it. Politicians cannot be elected without perfecting the art. As parents, we need to be able to spot it. The key for the liar is knowing when to make the effort (you can get away with it) and when to show restraint. Luckily most of our little ones are pretty bad at it now, but I predict they’ll unfortunately get better at it as they get older. This funny short story won’t help you deal with lying, but hopefully it will cheer you up while you deal with it.

We have two children. they are about the same age (girl-9 and boy-7). They’re also about the same size which becomes important when punches are flying, but doesn’t really play a role for the lie. As you’ve no doubt already guessed (based on your own vast experience), the most common case is a pair of fingers pointing in the opposite direction.

I know SOMEONE did. It’s not even worth my time to ask mom if she did it because when was the last time mom accidentally (or lazily) dropped a half-eaten candy cane on the carpet floor? And sure, I had a couple of drinks last night, but I don’t even like candy. No, the culprit is definitely standing right in front of me. All I have to do is figure out who it is.

Here’s the funny part: While I’m plotting my next move in response to the cross of accusatory fingers, the culprit smells!… and I can’t for the life of me figure out why! Maybe it’s because they both (or at least the culprit) didn’t take the time to consider how even Sherlock Holmes would be at a loss where to start. Is it not out of fear? I’ve never raised my voice at either of them (I save that for the right moment, like the first time one of them drinks and drives or commits some other life-threatening sin of stupidity).

The punishment is small. Pick up the cane and spend a minute or so scrubbing the sticky carpet with a damp sponge… or if the offense failed to put away the Wii video game, you lose a day of access to the device. My best guess is that the lack of sting involved in the punishment is what helps in the discovery phase of the offender.

Children do not fare better in the opposite scenario. “Who threw food coloring all over the fireplace?” produces two pointing fingers, but only one of them is covered in purple food coloring. It’s hard not to laugh.

Another funny story (shorter but funnier), about a year ago I went for a walk with my boyfriend and his two kids. In the interest of his privacy, I neither confirm nor deny that this friend is related to me or even that this friend exists outside of my vivid imagination. Anyway, I’m talking on my cell phone and at some point there’s a commotion that catches my attention. I hear my friend say, “I’m sure he wasn’t trying to kick you!” The boy interjects, “I was trying to kick her but I missed and kicked her bike.”

Well there you have it. They have a lot to learn before they graduate from law school. In the meantime, let’s be thankful for their lack of mastery in the art of deception, hoping it takes them as long as possible to catch on. It also provides plenty of material for a funny short story in the meantime.

DENIAL OF RESPONSIBILITY: While the events described above are representative of true events in the author’s life, the details of the story may be obscured or embellished for the benefit of the reader’s enjoyment and for the benefit of SEO (Search Engine Optimization – the key phrase is “funny short story”. .. Admit it, that’s what you typed in the search box).

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