What Time Should My 5 Year Old Go To Bed Two Girls in My Bed – Not Exactly a Fantasy

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Two Girls in My Bed – Not Exactly a Fantasy

I woke up the other morning around 4am and there was this beautiful young girl in our bed between me and my wife. He was bright eyed and bushy tailed and smiled when I opened my eyes and said… “Hi Dad!” Hmmm…

“What are you doing in my swamp?” I asked her in my best Shrek impersonation. This, as always, caused a smile.

“He’s sleeping,” she said.

“It doesn’t look like you’re sleeping,” I said.

Mom, now awake, decided to try to get her back into her own bedroom and that seemed to work, but I never went back to sleep. So I tossed and turned for about an hour and finally gave in at about 5am and got up. I started the phone connection and went to the kitchen to have a cup of coffee. In my mind, I imagined the two tasks competing in a race to see which would come first: the final product of a cup of coffee, or finally getting online via archaic dialup and low KB connection. To my surprise, the computer won hands down. Adding the necessary ingredients to my coffee, I headed to the desk, put the coffee on the desk, placed the chair in a comfortable environment and put my hands on the keyboard. Oh yes, I can write.

Had I just heard something? A door creaks, perhaps? I turned my back to see a glimpse out of the corner of my eye quickly heading towards our bedroom where I hoped my wife didn’t suffer the same fate as I had that morning trying to get back to sleep.

“Hello!” I shouted out. The figure’s legs stopped dead, turned 180 degrees, and scrambled for the desk.

“I can’t sleep,” he said.

“Join the club,” I said. She tried in vain to tell me she was scared, but I could tell otherwise by her beautiful, but fake eyes. It is still not a very successful fiber.

“Why don’t you lay on your bed with the door open for a while and I’ll protect you since you’re right next to the desk,” I suggested.

“Okay,” she said excitedly. Too excited for me to think this would have any semblance of durability. Sure enough… a few moments later, she re-entered the office to tell Dad a very nice story. Of course it was nonsense and he was making it up as he went along. Gotta love her 5 year old imagination. I have no idea where he gets it from.

Now, if I were the mom, I would put her back to bed and tell her … you need your sleep because I don’t want you to be a cranky girl at Nanny’s today and high maintenance when you finally get home tonight. This would cause her to wail and cry in protest, both that she was afraid and that she was not tired. But I’m not a mom. And I didn’t want to hear any crying or crying at this time of day. I just don’t have the fortitude my wife holds back when it comes to such matters.

“Look daddy!” she exclaimed referring to the dawn light coming through the edges of the mini blinds, “it’s morning already!”

“Oh,” I said, “but it’s still early honey and I want your mom to be able to sleep.”

“Can I stay awake?” she asked knowing I would leave her. How does it do this?

“If you stay in your room and deal with it without waking your mom.” She left happy and I didn’t think mom would go back to sleep in all honesty. However, he has an uncanny ability to lie there for hours trying. And, when I was young, I was an early riser. And look at me … did I turn out fine? … Hmmm … wait a minute!

“Jadine! Go back to bed!”

“Waaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!” Now… even the dog was awake. I clicked the red X in the top right corner of the monitor screen and called it a day on the internet.

This morning as I write…I have gone through the exact same routine as the other day, not waking up with my awake daughter between my wife and me. I got a little further into the routine this morning. I was already pulling out my preseason football stats and final roster cuts when I heard …

“Mum!” Oh wow! 6:15 am is what the clock was showing. Wow…he’s sleeping in, I thought to myself sarcastically. “MUM!” She screamed even louder with more excitement while I was deep in thought. One would have thought I would have intercepted the screamers before they created a vigilante mom.

I went to her bedroom and opened the door. “What’s going on, sweetie?” I asked.

“I want my nut.”

“Excuse me?”

“You know, Dad,” he said with a degree of disdain and a dash of sarcasm. It’s a little early for that, don’t you think?

“Um… NO! I don’t know.”

“The peanut.” I’m still clueless. “I think it’s on the shelf with my ballerina puppet.” I moved the puppets and didn’t see any peanuts. “He’s the one I took out in the woods, Dad!” Apparently, she finally realized that her father still had no idea what he was looking for. “Squirrel Nut! Hey!” Yes, complete sarcasm. I hate to admit that he is taking this from me.

Now I finally understood what he was looking for. She had found an acorn in the woods once while hiking with her preschool class. I honestly haven’t seen this crazy acorn in several months and why I’m looking for the damn nut at 6:15 this morning when I could be writing a blog entry is beyond me my reasoning.

“There’s no acorn up here, Jadin,” I said.

“Oh…okay. I thought it was.” Oh…you sure did. Making out with the little… Man, I love her though.

As I was trying to get out of her bedroom and close the door, I got the “I have to go to the potty” routine, so I knew she wasn’t going back to bed. When I was a child I used to wake up early. And look at me. It worked out fine for me. Hmmm… wait a minute. No. I don’t want her to cry this morning. I just got an idea for a blog post. How about petty bribery?

“Jadine?”

“Yes dad?”

“How about I put on a cartoon for you and keep quiet and don’t wake up mom.”

“Yes Yes Yes!” he practically screamed. So much for keeping the house quiet, I thought as the dog left the bedroom.

Anyway… Mom is still in bed (awake, I’m sure) and my daughter is laying on the couch watching her TiVo’d TV show. And that gave me the opportunity to write this. Thank God!

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