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Happy Family Life – Facts and Myths
It’s not easy being a married couple. People are always trying to give you advice on something. Of course it is always done from the best and noblest motives. Of course, it’s all useless. During all these years of living together, the couple inevitably breaks all the rules and taboos at least once. So how does it affect their lives?
It’s time to bust the most popular myths about family life. We decoded the secret meaning of all the advice husbands hear from the very first day they tie the knot.
So myth number one: you shouldn’t go to bed after a fight without making up. Well, it sounds reasonable enough – why risk it, what if overnight the fight that started over something trivial flares up and becomes a real problem? It is better to put on make up and go to bed with a clear conciseness and make a fresh start the next morning.
Our take: just make a deal with your significant other to put off resuming the race until the morning – especially if it’s past midnight, you’re exhausted, and there’s no foreseeable end to the race anytime soon. After all, not every argument can be limited by time constraints and unfortunately not all of us can stop at the right moment.
Of course it is bad to go to sleep feeling irritated after the fight. But there are some advantages to this, even if you sometimes sleep on opposite sides of the bed or in separate bedrooms, you’ll be fine – and so will your marriage.
The second myth is that the birth of a child makes you even closer to your spouse. Very often after the birth of the baby (especially if it is the first baby) spouses get countless topics for conversations. Although everything is related to the baby in one way or another…
It seems that the relationship has risen to a new level, but then the husband leaves for work and the baby starts to fuss or get sick. The joy and fun that initially caused this tiny creature is gradually replaced by fatigue and irritation – what else can you expect after sleepless nights, non-stop breastfeeding and diaper changes? Of course, not even a decent mother will take out her frustrations on a baby, and righteous anger falls on the one who happens to be nearby. And most of the time it is the beloved husband.
Our opinion: the birth of a child is above all a test of your relationship. There is a solution; Yes. You just have to accept the fact that all married couples go through a crisis and usually when they least expect it.
In addition, a woman needs help to take care of the baby – it is impossible to manage it yourself. The help and support of a loving husband helps a woman not to forget the roles she has in addition to being a mother, such as the role of wife and business woman. If a new mom still can’t even think about going out or is afraid to leave the baby with dad, other family members or a nanny, then don’t rush, let everything take its course.
Another myth: a husband should not only be in a romantic relationship, but also friends. Sounds great, doesn’t it? After all, a wife knows her husband better than anyone else, so why not consider him your best friend?
Our opinion: a romantic relationship is different from a friendship. Have no illusions that one person will manage to become the personification of both passionate love and tender friendship. It just doesn’t happen that way.
In other words, don’t blame yourself if you don’t feel a friendly bond with your spouse – that’s why you have your girlfriends/boyfriends. The important thing is to keep that connection between you and what you call it is up to you. Always be interested in your spouse’s life. When you leave in the morning, ask about your spouse’s plan for the day, and when you see each other in the evening, be sure to ask how the day went and how successful they were with their to-do list.
The next myth is that an unsatisfactory sex life is not a problem. In the first few months after the birth of the baby, hormones, exhaustion and over-excitement are not conducive to improving your sex life, so you should not push things to happen. A husband should deal with the situation with understanding and store patience.
Our opinion: at the risk of offending many young mothers, we firmly state that right after the birth of the baby, sex is extremely important and even necessary to maintain your relationship.
When you are constantly busy, suffering from lack of sleep and chronic stress, when you only see your husband in the morning and late at night, sex is the fastest and most effective way to strengthen your relationship, even if you do nothing. feel more of that wild attraction you felt when you first got married.
Also, don’t think that good sex requires special conditions such as a romantic dinner, a special atmosphere and privacy, otherwise you will forever wait for that “perfect moment”, which will serve as another cause of frustration and stress. Don’t wait for the perfect conditions, but take advantage of every opportunity you get. Learn to appreciate fast sex, it liberates and drastically expands your sexual repertoire.
Another myth: don’t fight in front of the kids. The sight of parents fighting is awful and can traumatize a child’s nervous system. Young children definitely recognize when you are upset and angry (your mood is transferred to them), and older children who see their parents fighting fear that they might get a divorce.
Our take: watching parents resolve a family conflict can be really helpful for a child, as he discovers that even the closest people sometimes can’t reach mutual understanding. It is impossible to avoid conflict. If your family life is not clouded by arguments then you have found your ideal partner. But the ideal is so boring…
In other words, watching parents fight is okay for kids and even helpful. But there is a condition (as always). If your fight is in front of minor witnesses, you must fight according to the rule. Instead of calling spouses names, just express your concern to them in a civil way. Condemn the act (or lack thereof), not the person. If the fight is very heated and resolving it peacefully is not possible, then try to make sure that the children are not in the room.
And the last myth: don’t take your other half for granted. That’s the secret to a happy and strong marriage, isn’t it? Once you start taking your husband for granted, you stop appreciating him.
Our take: taking your significant other for granted means fully trusting them, relying on them, and believing that they’ll be there for you when you need them.
It also means that you have assumed certain responsibilities and roles in your family. When you have a family and children, being completely sure of your partner only provides support and gives strength to your relationship. However, do not forget that taking the other half for granted and taking all the sacrifices for granted are two different things. A simple “thank you” works wonders.
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