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Women’s Month – Reclaiming Beauty, Redefining Success
Women’s Month – Reclaiming Beauty, Redefining Success
It felt like cold water slapped me in the face. When I first saw it, it made me uncomfortable. I cried for the second time. Now I’m all fired up with positive energy about healthy female power and I want to share it with you.
“It” is a 60-second video on CampaignforRealBeauty.com. Go to “Evolution movie” and click play movie (note, I’m not talking about the pro-age video that plays automatically).
You will see that this film represents a form of violence against girls (and women) that we need to be more aware of.
Research* reveals the good, the bad and…
about Dr. Susie Orbach found that just three minutes of looking at fashion magazines lowered the self-esteem of 80% of women.
o Distorted expectations and pressures for physical beauty affect self-esteem. This leads to introversion, withdrawal from normal life and wasted potential.
o 6 in 10 girls think they “would be happier if they were thinner”
Like many of you, I remember being a young girl who was cruelly teased almost every day at school because of my appearance. I can now appreciate that it made me develop my intelligence and other talents. Today, my heart goes out to every girl who feels discouraged by the pressures of mass media that feel more intense than my youth. (In my twenties, a friend encouraged me to get a nose job, which helped remove a barrier to my self-esteem.)
Good News*:
o 87% of women agree that “a woman can look beautiful at any age” and 81% agree that “every woman wears something beautiful”.
o 75% of women agree that beauty does not come from her looks, but from her spirit and love for life.
Author and feminist Naomi Wolf says that in 1991, most American women still felt bad about not looking like a skinny, blonde, big-breasted Barbie. She writes that now women “Perceive themselves as beautiful when they are loved or engage in meaningful activities, engage in spiritual experiences, help others, or do creative work.” Wolf astutely points out that when women are no longer concerned with “external shortcomings, they can move forward energetically with their inner development and creativity.” I would add, thus being able to wake up inspired and change the world while feeling more in love with their lives .
This leads us to not only question what defines beauty, but what is true success?
Studies show that 80% of professionals say balance and fulfillment are top priorities. Yet they still do not experience sufficient balance or meaning in real life. Professionals come to me seeking their higher purpose for much more than just higher paychecks.
A healthy revolution is about to take place – towards becoming whole and experiencing harmony between who you are deep inside and how you function in the outer world. “Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” has a renewed resonance in our hearts for the 21st century. The first feminist initiatives were about “Life” – I exist. I have a say in the world. I count and get a vote. “Freedom” overlaps nicely with the push for freedom to pursue financial independence and equal opportunity to compete for the corner office. Now we have a great opportunity to remake “The Pursuit of Happiness”. Let’s pray that we become wiser about what “happiness” entails and realize that she who dies with the most toys probably spends too much time on eBay.
More and more women are ready to redefine success to include well-being, spirituality, and meaningful work, rather than sacrificing those elements and trying to climb ladders and compete in ways that often don’t align with her true nature. Who wants to keep pushing themselves to break through the glass ceiling when it leads to more stress and a broken spirit? We are on the threshold of redefining success and reclaiming joy.
One of my clients, a 40-year-old television producer, puts it this way: “Now I define my own success. I used to put a lot of energy into pushing for the next promotion, competing and grasping for what everyone else thought was success. Now I’ve given up chasing in the benefit of the search. I realize that yes, you can have a fulfilling job, be a mom, and not kill yourself—as long as you define success for yourself.” Rather than pursuing network manager titles, she is now more interested in making a difference in the lives of others, especially girls’ education.
If you are reading this, you are a powerful person. You have choices and a voice to use for a world that works for all of us. What would you like to experience for your own unique joyous success story?
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